A Change in Plans

It's always been in the back of my mind. I knew that one day I wanted to do it. I also knew that I had to wait until my husband was ready. So, I kept my mouth shut and prayed. "If this is what You want me to do then You have to change my husband's heart because my nagging doesn't work!" And then sooner than expected I got a phone call from him. He was ready. Something in his heart had changed. Maybe it was cold feet.  Adoption is so permanent, he says to me. So, I made the call to Carrie, our caseworker.  Actually she called me first with a 15 month old boy who needed a home today. TODAY?! What?! I wasn't prepared, but I said yes anyways.  He ended up going to a foster/adoptive home closer to his birth family.

In the end we really just want to parent children. So, we've decided to change our status from foster/adopt to foster care.  We understand that the goal is reunification but it is where we can do the most good. Brian was worried about getting attached to children and never seeing them again. But he realized that is what he does every year as a teacher. He spends all year getting to know all 120 or so of his students and then they leave to another building.

Of course we have a lot of questions and concerns. Carrie and her supervisor, Christy (who did our home study), will be coming next week to answer our questions.  A lot will change. We can take on different types of children now since the goal is reunification. But if a child or children come up for adoption we will have first dibs. We are hoping to get medically fragile children. Of course we will need special training first, but we both look forward to caring for these children.  I think (but I could be wrong) that few foster families take on medically fragile children.  Since I have a medical background and since Brian is thinking of going back to school to be in the medical field, I think this will be a good choice for us. We will also take children ages birth to age eleven.  Our biggest concern is of course our bio daugther Mira (age 4). How will she react to all these children coming and going in her life? How will respond and process some of the behaviors that will come with these children? How can we explain why the children are here without telling the whole ugly truth? Will we be able to give her equal attention and not make her feel left out? In the end, I think it will make her a stronger and more kind person. She is already very loving but this will only reinforce that.

We are now in the preparing phase. I posted a message on Face Book and had several friends offer me their stuff. I have two different friends who are giving me their cribs that convert into toddler beds and one turns into a twin bed.  We went to a local discount furniture store and got bunk beds, mattresses, and a huge table that seats six people! We in the process of moving everything from the computer room into our bedroom so we should have room for up to four children (or five if we get a baby who can sleep in our room).

So that is where we are now in our journey into the unknown.