The Start on a Long Process

Patience. I have a lot of patience. Really I do, but not when it comes to waiting for something to happen. The problem, I believe, lies in my inability to sit still for long periods of time. After paying phone tag, I was finally able to set up the first interview with the casework, Kristi. The first meeting was set up on a Wednesday. It was two weeks away and I couldn't have been more antsy; more so than usual. 

The week of the interview, my work partner fractured her ankle and wouldn't be back to work for three weeks.  Three of us would have to fill in for her. The problem was Wednesday.  One of the nurse's was already working that day and the other, Kerry, working her other job that day. That left me. I knew that I could reschedule with Kristi if necessary, but I just wanted to get the ball rolling.  However, I couldn't let my team down either.  Luckily, Kerry was able to find someone else to cover her shift at her other job so she could work Wednesday. Thank you Kerry!

I work pretty much everyday.  I did happen to have off Tuesday and Wednesday of that week. I spent all of Tuesday flying around in a frenzy cleaning, dusting, rearranging, and baking....more so than usual. I repeated the process on Wednesday (even though there was nothing more to clean) till an hour before Kristi arrived. (I ended up sleeping on the couch till she came. I was completely pooped!) I wasn't sure what to expect. I didn't know if she would want to see our home and if she was going to inspect it. I didn't know what she was going to ask or what kind of personality she would have.  I felt our lives were in the hands of a woman I never met before! Okay, so I'm a bit theatrical!  Brian on the other hand was as cool as a cucumber. Nothing seems to phase him...ever.  Here I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off worrying about every tiny detail and he has the nerve to be relaxed and calm! How dare he! It always amazing me how Brian can let things roll off his back and take life in strides. Whereas I feel that if I don't worry and don't try to take control something bad will happen. Maybe I should take a lesson from husband.

Hmm.... If worrying doesn't add an inch to your height or years to your life, is that why I'm so short and youthful?

All of my fears and worries, like usual, were for nothing. Kristi was very warm-hearted and friendly. I got a sense that she generally cared about the children and wanted to do what was best for them. It turns out all she did was tell us about the agency and go over some of the paperwork with us. She didn't even look at any of the rooms. (Well, at least I had my chores done for the week!) We set up our next meeting two weeks from now on a Tuesday. I was just relieved to get a start on the long process. 

After our meeting, Brian and I feel much more at ease with the whole process. We really feel like this is what God wants us and to do.  We had a chat last night about the type of labels and qualities that will and will not accept. Brian made a good point that we are not running a charity; we are looking to form our family through adoption. There are so many children out there that our hearts go out to, but we know our family is not right for them. I was surprise, though, by some of the qualities that Brian was willing to accept and seemed perfectly at ease about it. I think being a teacher and being exposed to all types of children gives him a unique perspective.  We believe it comes down to the children, we won't know till met them. Nothing is set in stone yet, though.  This is the first of many talks we had about children and there will be many more. 

So, here we are in the waiting game once more. Maybe this will teach me to be patience and not to worry so much. At least this time I have tons of paperwork to keep my mind busy!

The First of Many Steps...

Its funny. I didn't expect this kind of reaction to making something so small as a phone call.  The phone call itself wasn't anything small. It was quite huge actually. It the first of many steps that would forever change our lives. My whole life I felt like I was preparing for this moment.  I've spend years dreaming, researching, and talking about it but when the time finally came to make that commit, I froze. As I stood there holding my phone with the agency's number already plugged in to it, the reality of the kind of commitment I was going to make hit me. It's not that I'm having second thoughts or doubts. It is like any big event in my life (graduation, "real" jobs, marriage, pregnancy), I never thought that day would come and when it did the thought of it was overwhelming!  I remember the day I found out that I was pregnant. I was so shocked and panicked. It was extremely overwhelming knowing that I was going to have someone totally depend on me.  Or the time I got my "real" job at an assistant living facility. The night before I went in for my first day, I had nightmares all night about being fire or messing up.  The morning of my first day, I laid on the couch sick to my stomach thinking to myself, "Can I really do it?" I was going to responsible for lives of thirty elderly people; all who were depending on me for their care. Yikes!

Well, I guess this should be no different. Though I did make mistakes along the way my daughter, Mira, is still breathing and is a happy engergic child.  I've been at my job for a year and a half now and all of my residents enjoy my company and I seem to be doing well. Both commitments have enriched my life and I am thankful for them.  So around 1pm today, after practing what I was going to say, I took a deep breath and hit send.  Of course when the woman on the other end answered I completely befuddled everything that I practiced.  However, that is just my personality.  The information is in the mail and once my husband and I review it, I am going to call back and set up a meeting.  And this time, that phone call won't be so hard to make. 

One Step at a Time

Yesterday we met with an adoptive couple who have eight children; six which are adopted.  I admit that we were both a little nervous, because we weren't sure what to expect.  But after a few minutes of being there we felt right at home and after spending the whole day talking, laughing, and interacting with the family we both feel at ease with our decision to adopt.  Brian, especially, feels a lot more at ease. 

It was neat to see how the family interacted.  There were eight kids there but you couldn't tell. It was peaceful! All the kids help each and even did chores...without being asked!  There was such a range in the children.  What one child couldn't do; another would help.  That is the way a family should be; all working together. 

We learned a lot about the whole process too. There is so much to information. I brought my notebook and took some notes.  For instance, I never knew that there was a spectrum of celebal palsey. I always assumed celebal palsey met wheelchair...but it doesn't.  They had several children with celebal palsey and each child was different.  In fact, one of my friends has a daughter with celebral palsey who got into the military! (Her case is very mild and I don't think she told them)

We've decided to go with their agency. They have gone through different agencies and they like this one the best.  So, I'll be calling Families United Network sometime this week to get more information.  And hopefully, we can set up a meeting for sometime in November.  We're just taking this one step at a time.