I am always boggled that more people don't consider adoption. It is looked at as a second choice by those who can't "have their own kids" and as a "crazy" for those who chose it as a first choice. I've always talked openly about wanting to adopt as a first choice. I always envisioned a family with both biological and adopted older children. Throughout my life and especially into adulthood I have often recieved negative and rude comments. Those whoes lives have been touched by adoption always express their happiness and joy. Everyone else, whether well meaning or not, tries to give "warnings" or starts telling a worse case senerio story about someone brother's wife's uncle's cousin who saw a show about an adoption nightmare.
The lastest was this passed week. Someone implied that we were adopting for the money! Isn't that laughable! Really?! Really?! I would make more money getting more hours at work (which I passed up and even cut my hours back even more to prepare for the adoption) and it would be a whole lot easier! The money we get (called adoptive subsities) is reason we CAN adopt and not the reason we ARE adopting. And then I got a call from someone telling me to turn on this week's Super Nanny, who was helping a family with adoption children, so I "could see what it is going to be like." That totally through me for a loop. That family was on Super Nanny NOT because they were adoptive but because the MOM'S parenting style wasn't working!
It's weird because when I talk about having another biological child or when I was pregnant with my daughter no one had anything negative to say. There were no stories about biological children who gave their parents hell or grew up to be druggies or criminals! There were no warnings about how "hard" is was going to be!
Yes, children from foster care and especially those who are older are going to have baggage. Yes, they are going to need time and theraphy to heal. Yes, it is going to be hard. But anything in life worth doing is hard. Raising a biological child is hard. Really hard. I know, because I have one. My husband and I had NO deliusion about what it is going to be like. The difference? We understand what we are getting into and we are making the decision to love and accept a child or children as they are. We are both accepting and laid back people. We are both use to dealing with all types of children. We are willing to put all of the work into raising all of our children and we understand that love can't fix everything.
So, please keep your opinions and comments to yourself. No one asked you anyways.
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