I've always been an impatience person; not with people but with waiting for something to happen. Everything so far has move so quickly and has been so easy that I thought this time would be different. It seems like everything in my life is a fight and struggle. I just wanted one big event in my life to go smoothly and according to plan.
We had a couple more meetings with our caseworker, Kristi, and they all went swimmly! We passed the safety inspection with flying colors. The best news was we found a sibling group we are interested in! I thought Brian would say no, like he has done a dosen times before, but as soon as I showed him the girls; he said they were perfect and to call the caseworker. Our adoption profile has to be done before we can be considered for this group. So, our caseworker was nice enough to arrange for our PRIDE training to be done in our home a week after we found the girls. We did an 8 hour session in only 4 hours! I was so pleased with how fast everything was going that I told my boss that I didn't want any extra hours and that as soon as we have our match move in (barring everything works out) that I was cutting my hours back. Our adoption profile will be done by Christmas too! Kristi comes next week for us to sign off on our profile and that's it; we're good to go!
The problem? Well, we can't seem to get anymore information on the girls. It's been a little over a month and our caseworker can't seem to get a return phone call from the girls' caseworker. Kristi says that it might be because of the holidays or even that the girls were put up "prematurely" so as to gather as many families as possible. So, I guess this is what other adoptive parents refer to as "The Waiting Game." I never thought we would be playing this game, because we want the hard to adopt children. I thought it would go quicker than this. You hear all this talk about how all these children (129,000 in Pa) desperately need a home and how hard it is for older children and sibling groups to be adopted. So, you would think that when a couple says, "hey that is exactly what we are looking for!" their caseworker would jump at the chance. The worst part of all this is that there is another couple from our agency interested in this group. I was pretty upset and extremely stressed out about it. I hate not knowing what to expect. If these girls aren't meant for us; that's fine. I truely want what is best for them. All that matters is that they have a home and a family that will cherish them. I just wish I knew if we are that family or not. Because if we aren't; then I want to match with another group.
I'm trying to look at this as God's way to teaching me to be patient and to trust in Him. I guess that is what faith is: Trusting without knowing.
Yes Britt, you nailed it. God will give you what you need and when you need it. Its easy to trust in the "will give us what we need" part but not the "when we need it". It is hard not knowing. I can sympthasise with you. Its also nice to see how excited you are, you are a great mommy and I cant wait for those children that God has chosen for you to be in your home and in your living care! I know its hard, but tests like these are important, Put all your trust in God. love you Brit. <3
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